The problem isn't that you're on the apps. It's that the apps became the whole world. Part 1 of a three-part series.

Understanding Your Worth There’s a question I often ponder while working on my book or reflecting on life: How would you make decisions about your future if you truly knew you deserved a good life? This question is gaining traction, yet many of us don’t ask it. We are often too busy surviving, escaping, and managing life’s complexities. Coming out, seeking a relationship, grieving a past love, navigating dating apps, searching for belonging, creating purpose, and even figurin

A Psychologist's Take on What It Really Means to Celebrate Yourself As a Lesbian or Queer Woman Jacklyn has been eagerly anticipating her Pride weekend since April. She is ready; her outfit is chosen, and the hottest spots to visit are all mapped out. Her friend’s group chat, called "dykes do June," has been buzzing for weeks. She loves Pride, genuinely and wholeheartedly. The music, the visibility, the feeling of moving through the world in a crowd of people who understand h

A Psychologist's Framework for Dating from Wholeness Instead of Hunger She walks into my office glowing. It's been three weeks. Maybe four. She's met someone, and it's different this time. They've been texting nonstop. They stayed up until 2 a.m. last Tuesday talking about their childhoods. She's already said the words: “I've never felt this way before – she really gets me.” And I take a breath. Because I know what's coming. It’s not that Sapphic romance shouldn’t be intense,

There are moments in our minds that change everything: the instant you realize you’re spiraling, bracing, hiding, people-pleasing, or overexplaining. That tiny step back, which I call "zooming out," is more than just insight. It’s a shift in consciousness and your nervous system, working together to open a new way of operating. Fascinatingly, the power of this experience is rooted not just in philosophy but also in neurology. When you observe your inner experience—your thoug

The Queer Women’s Courtship Problem Let me tell you something I’ve seen hundreds of times in my office. A woman walks in glowing. She’s met someone. After only two weeks, it feels like she’s known her forever. They’re texting constantly, staying up late talking, seeing each other often, and already planning a weekend away. She’s already said, “I’ve never felt this way before.” I pause. Because I know what usually follows. I've spent over twenty years working with lesbians an

The Truth About Lesbian Relationships That Hollywood Won’t Tell You, But This Dr. Will When we look at how far we have progressed in the West when it comes to LGBTQ rights and equality issues, it’s easy to think we are making great strides. Of course with the major news of the US Supreme Court ruling that gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states, the repeal of the discriminatory ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell‘ law in the military in 2011, and in other countries like Ireland whic

By Zara Barrie on QUEER CULTURE “What’s your type?” I asked him, because I’m Jewish and it’s in my genetic makeup to constantly try and set single people up. He bit into his burger, delicately patting the grease on his chin with a floral-printed cloth napkin. “I am my type. I’m a twin fucker,” he purred, his voice as sweet as sugar. I didn’t even need to think about what he meant by “twin fucker” for a hot second. I instantly knew exactly what homeboy was talking about. My go

This Is Why Lesbians Are More At Risk For Love Addiction Love addiction, my sweet kittens, is no joke. It’s a very real thing, and, like any addiction, it can really screw up our fragile little lives. I used to vehemently fear that I was a love addict, and then I feared I was a sex addict, and then I finally concluded that I was a love and sex and fantasy addict. But I’m also a hypochondriac who has convinced herself at least 17,000 times that she’s HIV positive and pregnan

Today is the Anniversary of The Stonewall Riots – June 28th, 1969 On the Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, we celebrate the heroes and heroines who have devoted their lives to fighting for LGBTQ rights and we proudly acknowledge all that our community has contributed to the bright fabric of the world. The Stonewall riots happened 47 years ago. In a spontaneous act of defiance against a police raid at the Stonewall Inn in New York, LGBTQ folk had finally had enough and

Gay Bars and Their Importance to LGBTQ History The LGBTQ community has grown in strength and numbers today and support has blossomed across the globe like never before but it wasn’t always that way. It wasn’t that long ago that people who identified with a sexuality that fell outside the cultural norm were outsiders, often unwelcome or shunned in public establishments including entertainment establishments. Lesbian love, gay love– it didn’t matter. Gay and lesbian bars

Love Addiction and Lesbians 2016/May-Jun By: Dr. Lauren Costine Have you heard the joke about the lesbian and the U-Haul? It goes like this: What does a lesbian bring on a second date? The punch line, an in-joke about the potent emotional entwinement that happens quickly in lesbian relationships, is a U-Haul. Two dates and it’s a move-in. This harmless enigma makes nearly everyone laugh. Even straight people seem to appreciate the psychology and intensity of lesbian relations

10 Signs You Have a Problem With Love Addiction and Why You Should Do Something About It. A wonderful part of the human experience is finding that close, intimate connection with another human being. Many parts of our society are built around stimulating that romantic connection and you can see this in film, in dining, in clubs, on TV, in books, magazines — basically everything. Love is essential to our happiness in life – not to mention a beautiful part of it. But wh

Lesbian Dating in Today’s Digital World Dating can be hard no matter how you sexually identify. It may not be difficult for socially outgoing types to meet people, but for lesbians who are not as extroverted or even a little bit shy, it can hard. On top of that, everyone’s working at their jobs and careers trying to get ahead – that can take up a lot of time in and of itself so between taking care of your apartment, shopping for groceries, doing errands, paying bills, w

Lesbian Relationship Help For Healthy & Happy Relationships Relationships can be tricky and maintaining a happy and healthy one, can be a challenge. However, it isn’t impossible and in this article, we will be looking at a few lesbian relationship help guidelines that will help both you and your partner have a more enjoyable and fulfilling relationship. The first thing to pay attention to is compatibility. This is such an important part of a long term happy relationship

Lesbian Dating Advice That Will Help You Land Your Dream Girl Lesbian dating can be tough, actually, almost impossible considering that the fact that we are a minority – numbers wise. However, this doesn’t mean that all is lost and you’re doomed to living a life with your 10 cats. It is entirely possible to find your dream girl, however, the trick is to successfully wade through the murky waters of dating long enough to find the one. So, with that said, we will now look

From Match and OkCupid to Skout and Scruff, social dating apps offer 32 flavors of matchmaking—and then some. Right now, gay men are prowling Grindr for no-strings insta hook-ups. Jewish singles are browsing JDate for cute boyfriend material with cultural overlap. The rest of the known universe is hard at work critiquing Tinder’s infinite parade of flattering selfies. Dattch, an app for women who date women, signals a watershed moment for women in tech. But for us queer

Ten years ago the first edition of Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men was published in response to what I viewed as a meaningful missing puzzle piece for gay men to learn and grow. At that time there were few if any self-help books specific to gay men. Thus, gay men had to interpret their challenges and experiences through the written lens of heterosexual life and culture. Although there were other well-written books on the subject of sex addiction,

10 Things You Can Do to Love Yourself on Valentine’s Day Whether you are single or partnered up, your relationship with yourself is the key to a fulfilling life. The truth is, you are the person you spend the most time with! Giving yourself the care and attention you need and deserve will help to restore your valuable inner resources, and once YOU are filled up, this will allow you to more fully give your love to others. Below are 10 Things you can do to Love Yourself on

Nurse Reveals The Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected,